Knwong Yourself

There are people in my life who see me as being too analytical with my emotions and my thoughts - up to actually calling me "emotionless" or "dominated by indifference". I am not saying that they are wrong, because, in a way they are not. Yes, I do analyze - but the purpose of my analysis is what they are missing. 

1st. By analyzing why I react/feel in a certain way in a given situation, I put myself in the Now in a conscious way. 

2nd. By understanding my feelings and my emotions, I understand myself. I understand the mechanisms of my subconscious, my unconscious feelings and what makes me click. This way I am sure not to surprise myself in important situations. 

3rd. 
a. By understanding myself, I can accept myself, then love myself. I am no longer confusing my egoncentrism and my narcissism with love. By loving myself, I can love you. 
b. By understanding and loving myself, I become the Soul owner of my own feelings and emotions. I become the Soul owner of my destiny, because I have eliminated all the low vibration feelings (fear, lust, envy, jealousy, and so on). 

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We all choose individually how to live the reality we are experiencing. I chose the path of awakening. There is no single road, a common recipe for each and every one. Some of us choose to live dominated by negative feelings, some of us choose . to live free from them. It's each and everyone's decision and we are entitled to our own choice.

I recently discovered that I have lost the ability to listen to my downers. Tonight I tried to get myself back into that mood (damn it, I miss ionut). Can't say that they did their job, but they helped me remember a couple of things. I will post a couple of them, explaining when, why and how they made it to my list. Isn't this a sort of catharsis?

Here's to the downer no.1 >> Archive - Controlling Crowds.




From the album with the same name, Controlling Crowds is a song that obsessed me for a couple of weeks in a row. I could listen to nothing but this. I would smoke, go to bed and try to make sense of things. The song managed to name, then exorcise some of my deepest fears. Back then I had this amazing, amazing friend with whom the verse "in your arms, cause i'm scared of their controlling crowds" was perfect. Because in his arms it was only natural to "refuse to follow".